Many marriages break up over the pain of signs of infidelity. Love and trust that was promised is taken away. The result of infidelity is both pain as well as hurt.
What is the source of all this pain? Look at the lives of Sue and Joe as they experience the pain of dealing with infidelity.
Sue was the kid next door when Joe was growing up. During hi senior year, they began dating and in his junior year in college, Joe proposed. They have three children, a girl and two boys.
Money was sometimes tight as the kids began to grow older so Joe started working late at the office to make ends meet. A few months later Sue noticed that money was just as tight or tighter even though Joe was working very late almost every night. When she mentioned this to Joe, a big fight followed and Joe left.
A week later, he called Sue to try to make amends. During their conversation, he tells Sue that he has been unfaithful. Both partners are willing to try counseling to see if things can be made better.
Sue is heartbroken. The very idea of forgiveness is nauseating. She has been betrayed by the one she loved the most. In her wildest imagination, she would have never have though of this type betrayal.
We all love stories to end happily, however this one may end that way. These deep hurts do not go away overnight. Divorce often follows such mistrust.
Even if things work out, the mistrust will work their way to the surface again and again. One missed appointment can rapidly bring up old feelings. Joe also has changed. He may no longer be as willing to stick through the tough times that happen in any marriage.
The once strong system of support offered by friends and extended family may also be shattered. Visits may not come as often as they once did. Sue not only feels she cannot confide in Joe, but feels abandoned by friends also.
If divorce follows, children will also feel the pain. The relocation of part of the family across state lines makes parental visitation more difficult and it sometimes even stops. Children sense the tension and also feel the pain. They miss the absent parent. Contact is broken and parents also are pained.
The pain continues. Even if Sue finds someone else with whom to spend the rest of her life, Joe’s infidelity in marriage can continue to haunt the new relationship. She may fear sharing feelings since her trust was broken earlier.
Joe’s money troubles have only just begun. Divorce and living the divorced lifestyle is an expensive process, both financially and emotionally. He now pays child support and has to pay his own rent or home payment as well as other bills. Joe also feels the pain of his failure. Infidelity has also brought pain to the instigator.
No matter how tempting infidelity may be, ask yourself if you are willing to pay the pain price after surviving infidelity. Just remember we’re talking about marital infidelity.