Posts Tagged ‘relationship problems’

Save Your Relationship - Know the Warning Signs of Relationship Trouble

Thursday, June 25th, 2009

 

A lot of break ups come as a complete surprise to the person who is being broken up with. If only they had recognized that their relationship was not all smooth sailing, they would have been prepared for the break up or could have taken actions to avoid it. This article lists certain signs that could be warnings of relationship trouble.

 

Signs That You Are Experiencing Relationship Trouble

 

Is your relationship showing these signs?

 

You do not spend a lot of time together and when you are with your partner, you’ll are invariably arguing about something.

You don’t feel that little thrill when you see your partner, or that warm fuzzy feeling in your heart is absent. Yes, I’m talking about that smile on your face when your partner came into the room, or that skip of the heart when someone was talking about him/her.

Your sex life is practically non-existent and the worst part is that you don’t even miss it!

Your partner is more critical of you than complimentary or vice versa. The differences that you once enjoyed in each other are now just annoying.

You don’t laugh with each other any more but rather laugh at one another.

When your partner says that he/she will be away for work for some time you actually start looking forward to the time alone.

When it comes to making plans for the future, one or both of you are quite unenthusiastic to do so.

One or both of you think that your relationship is going through rough weather.

You have reason to believe that your partner is cheating on you (partner doing a lot of overtime at work, not being comfortable answering his/her phone in your presence, not being able to answer simple questions like ‘where were you’ or ‘who were you out with’ etc)

 

If your relationship is showing the above signs, then it is in trouble. The reason you need to recognize relationship trouble early on is so that you can then do what needs to be done in order to get your relationship back on track.

 

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Getting Over Common Relationship Problems

Wednesday, June 17th, 2009

No matter how happy a couple is and how compatible they are with each other, they will still fight. I know; the fact that every couple has relationship problems is little comfort when your relationship is going through a rough patch.

But what does make you feel better is that if others can solve their love problems, so can you. In this article, I talk about two of the common relationship problems that are faced by people and what you can do to handle them.

Solving Relationship Problems

Lack of communication: Almost all your problems can be solved if you simply knew how to communicate effectively with your partner. Simply talking is not what communication is all about. By effective communication I mean, your partner should understand exactly what it is you’re trying to say.

For example, a man tells his woman - “Honey, the chicken you cooked today was absolutely wonderful”. Now the man was paying a compliment to his woman, but if she’s not hearing him right her response could be something like, “What do you mean by TODAY? That means I’m a lousy cook most other days?” And that’s how fights begin. Thus, make sure your partner is getting the message that you want to send out and not something else.

A good way to ensure that is to ask your partner if they understood what you were saying. If their answer is what you were trying to communicate, great! If not, you can tell them exactly what you meant so that misunderstandings and thus fights can be avoided.

Jealousy: The occasional jealousy in a relationship is very normal and can in fact be healthy. However, if your partner gets all green faced with jealousy (the same goes for you too) every time you talk to someone from the opposite sex, then that is not normal and can cause problems in your relationship.

Ugly jealousy can be handled by first admitting to yourself that you are unreasonably jealous and then trying to understand the cause for it. Is it because you’ve had previous bad experiences? Are you insecure because your parents may not have had a good marriage?

Once you know where your insecurities stem from, you can then take the necessary steps to build your confidence and faith in your partner and avoid unnecessary relationship problems.

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Relationship Help Through Better Arguing

Sunday, June 14th, 2009

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Arguments are going to happen from time to time between two independent adults.   A lot of us think our relationships are bad if we argue, but that is not necessarily true. You can get Relationship Advice on this here.

Arguing in an unhealthy way, however, can be a BIG problem.  Even just a few arguments that are unhealthy can cause serious damage to your relationship.

Arguments that are unhealthy happen in many different ways.  One unhealthy way to argue is by either attacking or withdrawing.  Attacking, trying to dominate your mate by yelling or deriding them, is obviously bad.  So too is withdrawing into silence and not talking to your partner for hours or days.

Another big cause of damage in your relationship is if during an argument you say things that are very hurtful to your mate, like you’re a complete stupid idiot or a worthless wench.   Studies have shown that if one or both partners treat each other with scorn or contempt during an argument, that relationship gets severely damaged.  If you treat your mate with scorn or get treated with scorn you should learn how to deal with conflict in a healthier way.

Here are some healthy ways to argue.  First, try to breathe through your anger or fear.  Focusing on your breathing can help you to stay calm and present.  This can take a while to learn, but it helps.  You can get more How To Get Relationship Advice here.

It can take a good while to learn to do, but the next thing is to focus on de-escalation.  This means to lower the volume and temperature of the arguing.  See if you can get your mate to calm down by talking more softly yourself.  Act in a non-threatening way and give them some space.

Another key skill for good arguing is to ask your lover what’s important to them about the thing you’re arguing over.  Then shut up and LISTEN.  You don’t have to agree, but just listening will make room for you to share your views and then you can often get to a compromise.

Lastly, a great move is to reconnect with your lover fast after the argument is over.  Don’t let the resentment and silence linger or build up.  Say “I’m sorry we disagreed, are you all right?”  Break the ice!  There is much more to learn about good conflict, but this is a good start.  You can get a complete system about How To Get Relationship Advice here.

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How To Stop My Breakup

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

First, if you were the one who made the decision to end the relationship and now you wonder, how can I stop my breakup? You should realize that you’re in a much better position than most people trying to save their relationships. You will need to swallow your pride and go to your other half with an apology. Explain that you acted hastily and that now you regret it. Explain that you no longer need the breakup, and perhaps even that you never wanted it but you spoke out of fury and you were inaccurate.

This might seem a tricky step, but it is required. Since you were the one to bring up the issue of breakup, your other half could have started seriously considering and thinking that it’s a smart idea, too. When you want to know, “How to stop my breakup,” you need to discover what your partner thinks of the idea and make it clear that you were wrong. Unless they’ve had tons of time and reason to choose that you were right and breakup is the best step, you can save the relationship by admitting you definitely made a mistake.

If you are wondering, “how to stop my breakup when I had no desire it in the 1st place,” then you have your work cut out for you. You can explain, without judgment or accusations, that you believe the relationship is worth saving and that you do not want a break. Probabilities  are that you have done this, more than once. But the way you assert it can make a contribution.

It’s vital for you to be very grown up and calm about it. That isn’t always straightforward to do. A split is an emotional and unpleasant thing. But it is one thing to cry whilst explaining that you would like to stay together, and completely another to scream or melt into hysterics. If you scream, accuse or point fingers at your better half, you are giving her even more reason to need to escape from you. If you want to learn ‘how can I stop my breakup‘ you have to let go of the anger and resentment you feel toward your partner for ever suggesting it in the first place.

You also have to be willing to work on your problems. You need to agree the relationship can’t return to the way it was, but must change for the better. Suggest relationship support. Explain, “I need to stop my breakup,” but point out you know your better half was sad with the way things were, and you are prepared to make them better.

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Most Common Relationship Problems For Couples.

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

Get Your Ex Back-Opening Move.

Most Common Relationship Problems For Couples.
Many couples think that their relationship problems are uniquely their own but there are actually a lot of people who have similar problems with them. There are a lot of relationship problems that plague couples in a romantic relationship. Unfortunately, nobody ever taught us how to deal with relationships. We just need to learn from trial and error. I have lived through quite a few relationships, and somehow managed to hold on.

External Issues That Affect the Problem.
Many relationship problems that plague couples are outside factors that interfere with their relationship such as friends and family. Keeping things pleasant makes the problems you had before seem not so important. It’s often a good idea to tell your partner that you’re guilty of taking him or her for granted. Don’t expect them to admit that they took you for granted, at least not yet.

Many friends might resent the fact that their friend is spending more and more time with the new boyfriend or girlfriend. This is a common relationship problem, especially for individuals who are close with a group of single individuals. This is also a common relationship problem that may originate from the family of the individual in a relationship. Some parents want their child, especially those still under their wings to stay close to home and spend time with them. Other parents may resent the fact that their child is closer to another individual outside of the family.

Time management is essential for relationship problems like these. Both individuals in a relationship should be aware that a healthy relationship includes spending time with other people such as friends and family members not just with each other.

Outside factors that may turn out to be sources of relationship problems are school and work. These two may interfere with the time one spends with one’s partner who may feel left out or abandoned when school or work gets hectic. The individual needs to explain very clearly to the partner precisely what can be expected from his or her school or work schedule.

Problems Within the Relationship.
More common sources of relationship problems are individual tastes, preferences, priorities and principles. Many people have a difficult time adjusting to other people when it comes to opinions, preferences and principles. It may take some patience and perseverance as well as some out and out grit to get used to some things that your partner may like and prefer. Differences in opinions such as in politics, sports, religion and ideals may well be sources of relationship problems, which can actually sabotage a relationship. The first advice is that you can both accept that there are problems that need to be handled in your relationship. These problems and issues need to be brought into the open and discussed amongst both partners. Seek advice on how these problems can be identified; and addressed in ways that are mutually acceptable. Compromise has already saved millions of relationships and this must be openly discussed between partners when there is conflict.

It takes two partners to make an argument happen. Both partners in a relationship need complete communication and interaction. If contact stops, then the reasons must be investigated. This means starting a conversation with your partner allowing them to open up so that you can analyze where the difficulty lies, and then take the right steps to repair the damage or rift. Listening is foremost in communication, and understanding what you are hearing runs a close second. Your will be able to pick up hints and get ideas of where damage control is necessary.

Tact and a little give and take may be necessary to resolved relationship problems of this nature. The couple needs to work out what works for them when it comes to relationship problems and not immediately give up at the first sign of a hiccup.

Many relationships are worth fighting for and persevering with. This is why it may just be a wise decision to stay and resolve issues instead of leaving. When you and your partner are having relationship problems you should try to look at the problem and sit down with them to have a heart to heart talk with no interruptions. If this still does not work, and you are still having relationship problems then counseling may be a good option. Leaving may not be an alternative.

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