The number one concern of parents who decide to get divorced is the impact of family divorce and their children’s well being. By understanding the fears of children whose parents are getting divorced, knowing what parents can do to help address and alleviate those fears, and doing those things, parents can help their children through what will probably be the roughest time of a child’s life.
Being Afraid
Children and divorced parents have a lot to be afraid of. Their world has been turned upside down, and their future is suddenly uncertain. Parents can reduce the uncertainty – and the stress and fear – by working out all these details before they even tell the children about the divorce, so they can answer all the child’s questions at one time.
Where Will They Live?
Kids are aware that their parents will be living in different housing from now on. The child is never going to have her mother and father instantly available to her at the same time under one roof where they all live. This knowledge is extremely stressful, especially in cases where the family home has to be sold or where parents live in different cities after the divorce.
Parents who work out these details beforehand can help children fearing change and divorce get through this difficult time by eliminating the stress associated with uncertainty.
How Will Their Time Be Divided Between Their Parents?
Divorcing parents and their kids know about splitting the time between parents, as they probably know others who have gone through the same ordeal. Learning from these experiences, the kids will get a grasp of changes or confustion that will arise from deciding who will pick them up at school along with other parental duties.
Even when the divorced family gets along extremely well, visitation is the most stressful aspect of children of divorce. After all, who among us would take a job that required us to split our time, 50/50, between two different locations? Not many. Having two homes in two different places, and having to shuttle all our stuff back and forth between the two of them, would be too stressful for many adults to undertake. Yet divorcing parents expect children to adapt and adjust.
Many divorced parents have adopted the practice of leaving the children in the family home and having the parents be the ones who move in and out of the picture. Not everyone will agree with the arrangements, but it could be the best way for both parties to deal with the issue of divorce and children.